Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Friendships

A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts who you have become, invites you to grow and supports you in your journey.

When you are what I call emotionally enlightened, you attract and keep such people as true friends because:

* You accept them rather than judge them.
* You express your feelings and encourage them to do likewise.
* You take responsibility for your feelings and never lay guilt trips on them for how you feel.
* You show empathy, compassion, and understanding for their feelings.
* You are sensitive to their feelings and needs, but you do drain yourself by feeling responsible for meeting them. You recognize that each person is responsible for their own feelings, so your friends do not become burdensome to you.
* You do not blame them or attack them, so they do not need to feel defensive or to counterattack.
* You do not advise them or tell them what to do, since you know that this will foster dependency, rob them of the chance to grow, and possibly create resentment later on.
* You are honest with them, even when what you have to say is unpleasant for them, because (a) You respect them enough to honor them with the truth, (b) You want them to grow through awareness, and (c) You trust them enough to manage their own responses.
* When you express concerns you express them as statements of your feelings, not of their character.

A true friend is someone who helps you reach your highest potential, someone who helps you be the best you can be. At the early stages of your friendship a true friend gets to know the real you by frequently asking how you feel about different things. They ask questions like:

* What are your fears?
* What are your dreams and desires?
* What do you feel strongly about?
* What’s important to you?
* What infuriates you?
* What excites you?
* What are your values?
* What are your beliefs?

From this site: http://eqi.org/friends.htm#1. I have found it while researching and found from this site an article that hit me and enlightens me.

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